LOVE AND MARRIAGE

By Lori Carmody

It was in 1978 on an overcast, chilly March day in Seattle when a guy, who flew up from his new job in Southern California, and I were married at St. Paul’s Catholic Church.  As they say, the rest is history. 

 Since that day our relationship has moved from intense love, to settling into being one another’s “person” while living in a small apartment, to no longer being newlyweds but comfortable, to being parents, to our current relationship where we are very much in love but need to be aware of reaching out in kindness to each other as we grow older with our individual quirks. 

Love is a many splendored thing!

Over these past 38 years of marriage, our relationship hasn’t fit perfectly for us.  Have your relationships for you? 

Rather, our marriage has had ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and hard times.  It is the place that I have worked the hardest and also where I have seen the most growth as I stretch and grow into the person God is inviting me to become. 

With this in mind, over and over again, I find myself highly recommending marriage for the young people in my life who are in loving relationships.  However I do so with the advice to only enter the adventure along with a supportive community and some good tools.

RELATIONSHIP TOOL BAG:

Workshops and Missions:  It is such a boost for relationships when couples attend workshops or Missions that have Marriage as the focus.  This weekend there will be a Mission on Marriage at my church (St. Joseph Catholic Church in Issaquah, WA).  All are welcome whether you are a member of our church or not, Catholic or another faith, married or single.  I have heard great things about the presenters, Chris and Linda Padgett.  Come for some or all of their sessions (Feb. 4-8).  See link for details. https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzjeFc2oLxRSRDNfUXpVa1dKZS1DLVZ5TnZBNWc1SGFhWTlv/view?usp=sharing

Books:  There are many good books out there.  My preferences are ones for what is weak in your particular relationship.  I have often found that books on improving good communication skills, prayer, and healing always are beneficial.   Two that I recommend ~

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman, PH.D and Nan Silver

Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages; The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman

Video:  We have busy lives.  Sometimes the most we can do for our marriages is to carve out a few moments to watch a video (that we then ponder throughout the day/week).  A few people that I find particularly thought provoking are Father John Riccardo and Father Mike Schmitz.  You can search for them and choose your topics.  I have attached one YouTube video from Father Mike on “Mastering Love and Marriage:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szHvT1krYfQ

Feb 14^th is St. Valentine’s Day.  As we move into February, it isn’t too early to begin planning who you can remind of their worth and value…your spouse?  a friend? someone who is lonely? the person who comes to mind as you read this?   As Saint Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa) has been known to say, “Do small things with great love.”

Thanks for reading.

Lori

PS  To all my readers, YOU matter so very much to me.  Will you be my Valentine? 

MANTRA UPDATE

By Lori Carmody

Thank you to all who let me know your mantras for 2017.  

I have to admit, with many of them I felt a tug to change my mind and adopt yours!

A sampling of the mantras I received:

Live Life!

Be Present

Moral Compass

Love On

Significance

Open Heart

Create in me a clean heart, O God

Refresh

Connect

Patience

Savor

I invite you to let your mantra speak to you throughout the year.  Place it somewhere you will see it regularly.  Also, watch for it to find you.   Trust Divine Guidance.

I came across this last week:  https://www.myintent.org/collections/frontpage .  I want to pass it along to you.  I plan on getting a bracelet with my 2017 mantra word “Dwell”.

Thanks for reading.

Grace and mercy,

Lori

A MANTRA FOR THE NEW YEAR

By Lori Carmody

When I was a young mom (almost 30 years ago), I had a wonderful neighbor who shared with me her practice of every December pondering a word or phrase that would become her mantra for the upcoming year.  Through the years I often asked her what she had chosen and how it had impacted her life.  Several of her mantras that I remember are: 

Just listen

Consecrate the day

Love life

Harvesting

Come home

Recognize grace

Breathe

Find joy

The stories of how these little words impacted her life as she acted on them, prayed for the courage to live them and had them taped to her bathroom mirror and kitchen frig were amazing!  When she was deeply in the throws of angst with her husband, a year of “just listen” brought her humility, calm in the midst of the storm and perseverance.  When her son unexpectedly died, “breathe” was her guiding light to get to the next day and, sometimes, to the next moment. 

After several years of my neighbor sharing with me, I began my own mantra practice.  I have been doing so for over a decade now and have found that I too am informed by the word – chosen in Dec/Jan – and gifted all year long by its meaning for my life. 

I haven’t settled on my mantra for 2017 yet.  Some of the possibilities I am considering are:

Pilgrim or Tourist?

Abide

Simply Be Kind

Recognize Grace

100%

I will let you know if I settle on one of these or if something totally "other" shows itself in the couple weeks.

How about you?

Is there a word or phrase that is beckoning you?  Perhaps it will inform you all year long.  I urge you to consider the possibilities until one calls out to you. 

God can and will use it to guide you in the months ahead.  It may bring you clarity, peace, joy or untold graces.  Trust the process and ask God to show you what your mantra is for 2017.  I promise you, at the end of the year you will be glad you did.

If you decide to seek a mantra, and feel comfortable leaving me a comment with what it is, please do!  I will compose a list of all of ours and print them in a few weeks on the blog (anonymously). 

Happy New Year!  

May your pondering be rich and your mantras for 2017 be life-giving throughout the year.

Thanks for reading,

Lori