LOVE AND MARRIAGE

By Lori Carmody

It was in 1978 on an overcast, chilly March day in Seattle when a guy, who flew up from his new job in Southern California, and I were married at St. Paul’s Catholic Church.  As they say, the rest is history. 

 Since that day our relationship has moved from intense love, to settling into being one another’s “person” while living in a small apartment, to no longer being newlyweds but comfortable, to being parents, to our current relationship where we are very much in love but need to be aware of reaching out in kindness to each other as we grow older with our individual quirks. 

Love is a many splendored thing!

Over these past 38 years of marriage, our relationship hasn’t fit perfectly for us.  Have your relationships for you? 

Rather, our marriage has had ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and hard times.  It is the place that I have worked the hardest and also where I have seen the most growth as I stretch and grow into the person God is inviting me to become. 

With this in mind, over and over again, I find myself highly recommending marriage for the young people in my life who are in loving relationships.  However I do so with the advice to only enter the adventure along with a supportive community and some good tools.

RELATIONSHIP TOOL BAG:

Workshops and Missions:  It is such a boost for relationships when couples attend workshops or Missions that have Marriage as the focus.  This weekend there will be a Mission on Marriage at my church (St. Joseph Catholic Church in Issaquah, WA).  All are welcome whether you are a member of our church or not, Catholic or another faith, married or single.  I have heard great things about the presenters, Chris and Linda Padgett.  Come for some or all of their sessions (Feb. 4-8).  See link for details. https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzjeFc2oLxRSRDNfUXpVa1dKZS1DLVZ5TnZBNWc1SGFhWTlv/view?usp=sharing

Books:  There are many good books out there.  My preferences are ones for what is weak in your particular relationship.  I have often found that books on improving good communication skills, prayer, and healing always are beneficial.   Two that I recommend ~

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M Gottman, PH.D and Nan Silver

Things I wish I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

The 5 Love Languages; The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman

Video:  We have busy lives.  Sometimes the most we can do for our marriages is to carve out a few moments to watch a video (that we then ponder throughout the day/week).  A few people that I find particularly thought provoking are Father John Riccardo and Father Mike Schmitz.  You can search for them and choose your topics.  I have attached one YouTube video from Father Mike on “Mastering Love and Marriage:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szHvT1krYfQ

Feb 14^th is St. Valentine’s Day.  As we move into February, it isn’t too early to begin planning who you can remind of their worth and value…your spouse?  a friend? someone who is lonely? the person who comes to mind as you read this?   As Saint Teresa of Calcutta (Mother Teresa) has been known to say, “Do small things with great love.”

Thanks for reading.

Lori

PS  To all my readers, YOU matter so very much to me.  Will you be my Valentine?