"ADOPT" A NEW ATTITUDE

By Lori Carmody

Are there 3 - 4 people that you can’t imagine life being as good as it is if they weren’t here being their kind, inspirational, crazy, funny, athletic, supportive, spiritual, kind, whatever self?   

Perhaps these individuals are in your personal life and so integral to your happiness that you would not be content if they didn’t exist.  Maybe they are public figures who are making such a large contribution to the world that if we lost their presence and voice we would be much the less without them. 

Take a moment and please close your eyes and think about who these people are for you.

Do you have them in mind?

 A video that was shared with me last week proposed this question around the topic of adoption.  It deeply moved my heart.  It is called Imagine. 

I invite you to watch it and to imagine how adoption changed their lives and, in turn, changed ours. 

If not for the courageous, good-hearted people who put the needs of a child before themselves, imagine how the lives of John Lennon, Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Jamie Fox, Eleanor Roosevelt, and the others might have turned out. 

• ·       Would they have still been who they became?
• ·       Would they even be here?  

We will never know.  All I can be certain of is that I am different because they were adopted and lived the lives that were given to them.   

On this Memorial Day Weekend, while we remember our brave military men and women who honor and protect LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS for us, may we also honor all the ways people enter our lives and make them better.  We wouldn’t be the same without them. 

Thanks for reading,

Lori

Prayer:  Gracious God, may we choose life for ourselves and others every day in every way.  Amen

Action:  Find out the facts about adoption.  For example, do you know that November is National Adoption month?  There are podcasts that will give you new, positive information for yourself or people in your community who might be considering adoption, informed terminology about how to talk about adoption (the way we talk says a lot about what we value), current statistics, etc.   

#adoption  #imagine  #militaryheros #adoptanewattitude #lifelibertypursuitofhappiness

LORELAI, RORY & LIFE

By Lori Carmody

We find inspiration in odd places, don’t we? 

When my daughter, Kaitie, was young, we used to watch the TV show Gilmore Girls.  Lorelai (mother) and Rory (daughter) were staples in our home through Rory’s middle, high and college years as they navigated their own relationship as well as those of extended family, friendships, careers, and life within a community.

I have been wearing my Gilmore Girls t-shirt a lot recently.  I needed to remember that I am strongest when I am standing on my own two feet.  Lorelai and Rory remind me of that. 

What reminds you of our own self-reliance?

Somehow wearing my Gilmore Girls t-shirt next to my heart helps me to remember that I find deep inner peace when I take my eyes OFF OF FEAR and place them on God and others, take hold of my own power, plant my feet firmly on the ground of the present moment, and choose the life I want to live.

When you have set a goal that requires you to be reminded of something, for example; trusting your own voice, taking responsibility for yourself, setting a boundary, forgiving (especially yourself), feeling good, asking for what you need or whatever; do something to remind yourself of the work in which you are engaged.  Tape a post it note with a message that you will see often as your reminder.  Find something that will symbolize for you what you are striving for and place it in your car or on your desk.  Hold it.  Receive its message.  Of course, you can always go to Target and buy a t-shirt.  That works too J  Do whatever will help you trust the growth your body, mind and spirit are nudging toward.  

Isn’t it lovely how Spirit can use anything – even a post it note or TV show and Target t-shirt – to speak to us?  Gilmore Girls???  Who would have thought!

Thanks for reading. 

Lori

Prayer:  God, help me to focus on You rather than on my fears.  In You, I become a channel of peace.

Action:  Allow the grace of letting something be “good enough” when the tendency arises to “refine”.

#gilmoregirls  #inspiration #selfresponsibility #chooselife #tshirts #presentmoment

IT’S THE COFFEE

By Lori Carmody

A group meets for coffee.  I carefully select my cup, trying to choose the cup that reflects my personality or mood of the day.  Then, wait for it, as we are visiting, I notice someone else’s cup that is even MORE me.  I think to myself that I wish I had chosen THAT cup.

Am I alone here?  Has that ever happened to you?

If it has, what does that signify in our lives?

I’m guessing that the professor in this short video is on to something.   We often want the best of jobs, paychecks, positions (at work, on the school board, at church, in the neighborhood, in our family) but getting these cause us so much stress and really do not bring happiness and peace to our professional and private lives.  Not only that, we strive for the same for our children, thus compounding the pressure at home.  Then we look around at others  – at their “cups” - and see how ours compare. Ugh!

What if, instead, we concentrate on the “coffee”?  Imagine a world where, instead of wanting the BEST for ourselves and our children, we simply want to enjoy coffee with one another. 

This video speaks to that part of me.  I hope it does to you too.  Enjoy! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lkp3zkioo

Thanks for your time,

Lori

Prayer:  This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.   Psalm 118:24

Action:  Next time you are at coffee with a group, simply take the cup closest to you and savor the moment.   Savor.  Savor.  Savor.  

#ItsTheCoffee  #Savor  #MyLife  #Day24

TAKING "VICTIM" OFF THE TABLE

By Lori Carmody

To follow up on my last ACCEPTANCE post, I want to mention a familiar happenstance around our home. 

When my kiddos were young and people were coming over for dinner, I would race around cleaning, cooking and preparing for the arrival of our guests.  At those times I would be thinking to myself, “Doesn’t anyone see that I am working like a crazy woman?”  Of course that was usually moments before I would explode in my “Commander in Charge” voice giving out orders for the tasks at hand before our guests would arrive and we all were expected to be in a good mood!  Oh my!  Those times definitely did not earn me awards for Mom of the Year.

Instead, I was allowing myself to be a VICTIM .....

“Can’t they see?” “Don’t they care?”

It took personal work for me to understand and then additional time to own that I was projecting on others what was really my own lack of taking responsibility for what I should have been doing for myself.  I was looking for others to show that they cared for me and expected them to have the intuition to know what I needed at any given time rather than for me to know and trust exactly what I needed for myself and the capability to accomplish it.   

For example, in this scenario,

·        Knowing we were entertaining over the weekend, I could have cleaned the house during the week thus lightening my load on the day of the dinner

·        I could have ASKED for help long before I got stressed

·        I could have taken a few tasks off my self-made to-do list (would the guests even notice or care?)

·        What if I would have changed the plan all together and had the guests for appys and beverages and then we all went out for dinner?  In those days, I wouldn’t have even given myself permission to not work and/or follow the plan I had put forth earlier in the week but how lovely if I had.  Today I certainly would rather do that than get upset and be angry with those around me

·        I could laugh.  I have noticed that when I can lighten up on myself, it moves me to a healthier place and so simply saying to myself “Yup, you’re here again, Lori J”  without criticalness creates space for me to not get in my own way

Eliminating my victimhood is such a good thing both for me and, truthfully, for those around me.   Just ask them.  They will tell you!

How about for you?

Is it a role you play in your family and/or friends?  At work?

If so, I recommend that next time you catch yourself thinking or saying, “Can’t THEY see?” you might ask yourself if YOU are having compassion for YOURSELF.  Once in that place of tender care for yourself, ask what you need.  It is not selfishness.  I promise.  Life will be better with being a victim off the table for you.  Plus the people around you will be grateful for the change they see in you.

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  Loving God, help us to love ourselves as well as we love others. 

Action:  Today, I will reign in my “victim” thoughts and choose to take responsibility for myself.

#VictimNoMore  #Self  #Compassion  #Day23

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO ACCEPT

By Lori Carmody

Sometimes I mess up.

Sometimes others do.

Sometimes life gets messy and it is far from what we want it to be.

On those days/weeks/months we have options.  We don’t have to stay stuck.  Acceptance is one option that I find so very helpful.

ACCEPTANCE

Not that my accepting what is happening at any given time in my life will change everything in an instant.  Far from it.  Often it takes soul searching, active listening, conversations with the aim to understand rather than to convince, prayer, and working through emotions such as anger and sadness. 

However, if my target stays on ACCEPTING myself, others and the particular situation we are in just as it is for that present moment, miracles can and do occur. 

And guess what?  I have learned that once I get to acceptance ~ true ACCEPTANCE that even though things are messy I accept them EXACTLY as they are for today ~ I know GRATITUDE isn’t far behind.  Who knew?!!

Eckhart Telle puts it this way, “Accept – then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it…This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Acceptance of the present moment is the rich soil that prepares us for what lies ahead.  As I find my solid footing in acceptance and gratitude, I then am better able to see the possibilities of where my best self can grow.  Although the path to acceptance may be arduous, getting there is well worth every ounce of energy it takes.   

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Action:  What don’t you like about your life?  Every time you are tempted to complain, instead practice accepting it.  If you are brave, be grateful for it and see what happens!  

#Acceptance  #Permission  #Gratitude  #SerenityPrayer  #MyLife  #Day22

I’LL STAND BY YOU

By Lori Carmody

I attended two funerals in the past week.  Both men were wonderful, beloved, giants of men in our community.  

Those lucky enough to know Joe (age 31) and Jim (age 83) knew that they stood by their families and friends with the intention that no one in their circle would ever doubt that they were loved.  They both also reached beyond their close relationships to the bigger world and with their smiles, willingness to help others and joyful spirits made the world a better place for all of us.

Once in a while a song or slogan will capture for us the essence of what our hearts find difficult to put into words.  A commercial did that for me this week.

Although I don’t have a clue about Mass Mutual Insurance, and am not endorsing them here, I do believe that they have captured not only the gusto of how Joe and Jim lived their lives but also the call of how we are invited to make the world better by how we stand by one another.  

With life being so precious, can we do anything less?

https://www.massmutual.com/planning/videos/theunsung?cm_mmc=google-_-websitesupport_b-_-ppc-_-200010278-VQ16-c&gclid=CjwKCAiAlfnUBRBQEiwAWpPA6TZl2BbOEPruHw1vYTA4WWSay9dcrhvorc0z1bzjJijBM03yUg4u1xoCam8QAvD_BwE

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  God of our births and deaths, we thank you for blessing our lives with Joe, Jim and all our family and friends who have gone before us.      

Action:  Look around!  Look again.  Who can you stand by, even in a small way today? 

#I’llStandByYou  #Friends  #Day21  

WE NEED OTHERS

By Lori Carmody

“In the beginning of life, 

when we are infant, 

we need others to survive, 

right?

And at the end of life, 

we need others to survive, 

right?

But here’s the secret;

In between we need others as well.”

~ Tuesdays with Morrie

Tom and I celebrated our 40^th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  One of the things we did was to visit our dear friends who had recently celebrated their 70^th wedding anniversary (Wow!).  Fran & “Auntie” Hilda lived two houses down from me when I was young.  They were good friends to our family and have been a part of the love and support Tom and I have felt all of our marriage. 

Morrie Schwartz had it about right.  In the beginning and end of our lives we need people but in between we do as well.  If we are lucky enough to realize that and be grateful for those who gift us with their time, laughter and perhaps a pizzelle cookie or two, we are lucky enough.

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Note: Tuesdays with Morrie: an old man, a young man, & life’s greatest lesson by Mitch Albom ~ a great read

Prayer:  Gracious God, your answer to any question I have had has always been to love more.   Help me to follow your guidance and to love more every day.

Action:  Who has been a personal support and inspiration to you over the years?  Wouldn't a note or call to thank them or simply saying a prayer of gratitude for them be a good thing?       

#PizzelleLove   #MarriageGoals  #MyTribe  #TuesdaysWithMorrie  #Gratitude #Day20

WELCOME HOME

By Lori Carmody

So often I find myself, without even realizing I am doing it, working overtime trying to be a faithful “servant” of God.  When I drill down a bit on my busyness, I realize my image of God is one from childhood where I must be a good little girl who works hard, always trying her best.  When I miss that mark, it will be noted.

As I have grown up my image of God has changed into a much more loving, forgiving, gentler God who simply wants to be in relationship with me.   

Last week Ruth Graham (Billy Graham’s daughter) spoke words that not only rang true for the God I have come to know as an adult but for the God the little girl in me still needs to be reminded of. 

https://ijr.com/2018/03/1072012-billy-graham-daughter-funeral/

Thanks for reading.

Lori

#WelcomeHome  #Forgiveness  #RuthGraham  #Day19

GOD & JUDY GARLAND

By Lori Carmody

When I read this reflection by H.A. Williams, something exploded within me.  I don’t audibly hear the voice of God however sometimes when I am looking at a picture, reading a story, or am listening to a song, I "know that I know" that I need to pay attention to what is in front of me.  It’s as though the Divine has a message for me.

“Among the more unlikely occasions when a fit of awareness came upon me was in the Arts Cinema in Cambridge during the Judy Garland film A Star is Born.  I had gone to the cinema because I felt depressed and defeated.  In the story of the film Judy Garland had tried to make her mark three or four times and had failed completely on each occasion.  So discouraged was she by this succession of failures that she decided to give up all attempts at a stage career.  At this point an oddish somewhat matriarchal woman gave the defeated Judy Garland a lecture on the necessity of perseverance.  The road to success was always strewn with failures, and therefore you had to be in touch and believe in yourself so that you would get up and try again however often you failed.  The words of this matriarchal figure came to me as the voice of God.  They thrilled me.  And in the thrill I was aware of God’s presence with me in the cinema giving me new life and inspiring me with fresh courage…The matriarch’s utterance undoubtedly verged on the corny.  To speak to me deeply and powerfully by means of it seemed to me grotesquely funny.  I couldn’t deny the reality of the experience, but it was precisely its reality which made the occasion of it so hilarious.  There was no knowing where God would explode next.  On my way home I looked about me for somebody to slip on a banana skin. But nobody did.  God, apparently, had exploded enough for one day.”  ~  Some Day I’ll Find You by H. A Williams

Whether the source from where we get our guidance is called God, Yahweh, our Higher Power, energy bigger than ourselves, the Source of all, the Divine or the Universe, H.A. Williams reminds us that “there is no knowing where God will explode next.” 

I believe this is true.  Don't you? 

And yet, in order to “hear” a message, our minds can’t be making plans so far in the future that we aren’t aware of what is actually happening as it happens.  (So often where I live) Nor can we be so caught up in our memories that we lose sight of this day and this moment. 

Present moment awareness is a spiritual practice that one never completes this side of eternity.   But there is is hope!  We can take tiny steps forward each day to improve on our ability to focus on the moment.     

I have been reading Matthew Kelly’s new book Perfectly YOURSELF.  Much of it (so far) is about present moment awareness.  Here is a video from his daily Lenten reflections on the topic.   

https://dynamiccatholic.com/bestlentever/lent-reflections-2018/a-chance-to-turn-it-all-around/?mkt_tok=eyJpIjoiWXpCbVpXWXdZek0zTjJWbSIsInQiOiJwcWNmREVIbG1DZFBMQjk3RTh6OHFySGE4STF6M2tyTHRXQWkrcEQ2czk2XC8wR3liM1YrcEtscVdJd3FEN3J4aDM2OHc2dlwvdzFZVWE0WG91aUZxN2dSb0Z6YXlTTHNLZGRNUWdNSVdXSm5uZEVkbXQ2aHBpUTkyNnkrdjdwM1ZTIn0%3D

There is no knowing where God will explode next.  May we be present in the NOW so we don’t miss the thrill!

Thanks for reading.

Lori

#PresentMoment #Now #PerfectlyYourself #Day18

OBEY IN MARRIAGE & LENT? WHAT???

By Lori Carmody

When we hear words like obey, unselfishness, unconditional love, silence, and patience: I’m guessing that lent comes to mind before marriage even shows up on our radar.  Obey was thrown out of the marriage ceremony decades ago, right?  

Tom and I work with engaged couples at our church.  I would like to share with you an article that we sometimes give to couples we meet with if we are with them around this time of year.

LENT & MARRIAGE … perhaps a new lens to view both.

http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/marriage-lent.html

Thanks for reading,

Lori

#Lent  #Marriage  #NewLens  #Cherish  #Day17

BILLY GRAHAM 1918 – 2018

By Lori Carmody 

When I was growing up, there was basically only 3 television stations - channel 4, 5, and 7.  When a Billy Graham Crusade came on TV, it would preempt whatever was on the station and, if we wanted to watch television, that is what we watched. 

Although I was quite young and not Southern Baptist, I clearly remember sitting on the floor in our living room watching Billy Graham preach to stadiums filled to overflow with enthusiastic people.  Sometimes the telecast came to my small living room from somewhere in the United States.  Other times I recall it being from countries far way.  I was stirred both by this eloquent minister’s passion and his message.  Whether Billy Graham was preaching in lofty surroundings such as at Madison Square Gardens or in poor villages in Africa, the theme of the Crusade resonated with my soul ~ God loves you. 

He began his unofficial ministry when he was 16.  His last crusade was in 2004.  Never did his message veer off this theme. 

Evangelist Billy Graham preached in 184 countries.  He also met with presidents, queens (any other Crown watchers out there?), country leaders from all over the world, religious leaders, civil rights activists, actors and regular folk.  

When asked a while back if he had any regrets, this is what he had to say, “If I had to do it over again, I’d spend more time in meditation and prayer telling the Lord how much I love him.”

I believe this giant of a man made the world a better place no matter your religion, race, or creed simply by doing what he was called to do.  Many times he was asked to run for political office and urged to run for President of the United States.  He, of course, never did.  He was steadfast in his conviction that he was called to be a minister of the Word of Jesus Christ for the people of the world.

We may not have the world as our pulpit but, just as surely as Billy Graham, we too are called in some way to make the world a better place by sharing our unique gifts.  All that is required from us is to discern our gifts and to respond to the invitation to share them with our “Yes”. 

As we reflect on the life of Billy Graham, we realize that we have been given a legend to show us how to keep saying “yes” to service throughout a lifetime. 

                                              THANK YOU, BILLY GRAHAM
Thanks for reading, 
Lori

#BillyGraham  #Crusades  #Legion  #GodLovesYou  #Day16  

APPRENTICE? ALL IN A DAY'S WORK

By Lori Carmody     

There are as many reasons that people turn to violence as there are solutions that we can consider in our quest to heal them and our world.  Although some of us feel the answers are simple, I believe we need to look at as many solutions as we can and bring to the table all the best we have to offer to support people physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

Along with the issues of what gun control measures we may want to legislate and what mental health programs we may want to fund, I suggest many other support networks need to come together to make fragile people whole again.

One small but not insignificant program that a friend told me about (thank you, Debra) is called APPRENTICESHIP CAREER PATHS.  I have to wonder if a program for students that may feel that college is not for them and, perhaps, have felt as though they are like square pegs in a round hole in middle and high school, may find a home in a program such as this.  Imagine the difference it could make in the emotional welfare of the student not to mention helping out the companies that need qualified workers.  Win/win. 

This Ted Talk is about 15 min long.  I encourage you to learn about the program and forward it to anyone that you think may find it helpful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z3Fgtj8fqk

I further encourage you to open your mind and your heart to the vast possibilities of options we have to help those who are in our circle that may need a helping hand.  I look forward to hearing your ideas as together we all imagine many ways to reach out to support and heal our brothers and sisters. 

Thanks for reading.

Lori

#ApprenticeshipCareerPaths  #Apprentice  #Working  #Day15

CRUSADE: JOY

By Lori Carmody

Yesterday, the ladies of my church had a bridal shower for this beloved one. 

To share Jill's JOY was such an honor for me.  Pus, to spend the afternoon in conversation with this circle of beautiful women who cherish relationship, faith and humor, fed my body (delicious food), mind (stirring conversation) and spirit (laughing out loud). 

In a world that seems to be consumed these days with finger pointing and finding fault with one another, it was a delight to be in the sacred space of ENJOYMENT. 

Our world can use a LITTLE SLICE OF JOY, don’t you agree? 

This week, how can each one of us 
nurture such a place of JOY 
for ourselves and perhaps for others?  
I invite us to CHOOSE JOY 
even if in the simplest of ways.  
We will be making our week 
and the world a better place.   
I promise. 
Thanks for reading.

Lori

#DoOneThing  #Joy  #TeamJill  #Day 14

THOUGHTS & PRAYERS, THEN ACTION

By Lori Carmody

I keep seeing this posted on social media.  Every time I do, I am mystified. 

It seems to me that BEFORE we make POLICY and CHANGES of any kind, we need to THINK things through and have PRAYERFUL DISCERNMENT about what the best ACTION needs to be.  Only AFTER both of these important steps – THOUGHT AND PRAYER – do we THEN do the necessary steps of making decisions on our will to take ACTIONS which will bring out POLICIES that will impact lives for the better and CHANGE that isn’t just another law on the books but CHANGE that will impact the WORLD. 

In the words of Martin Luther King, Jr, “Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking.  There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions.  Nothing pains some people more than having to think.”

THOUGHTS engage our minds.

PRAYERS engage our hearts.

ACTIONS engage our guts.

Intelligence of ALL THREE ~ head, heart and gut  ~ bring forth balance in our response.

Am I mistaken?  How I see it is that we need a balanced response of THOUGHTS, PRAYERS AND ACTIONS for a WORLD where FREEDOM AND PEACE have the final word.

Thanks for reading,

Lori

#ThoughtsPrayersActions  #HardSolidThinking  #TruePeace  #Day13

MAKE ME A CHANNEL OF YOUR PEACE

By Lori Carmody

In our families, neighborhoods, schools, cities, states, nation, and world ~

MAKE ME A CHANNEL OF YOUR PEACE
Where there is hatred, let me bring love
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.

MAKE ME A CHANNEL OF YOUR PEACE
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy. 

MAKE ME A CHANNEL OF YOUR PEACE
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

IN MEMORIAM:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/02/15/586095587/17-people-died-in-the-parkland-shooting-here-are-their-names

Thanks for reading,

Lori

#Florida  #ChannelOfPeace  #Day12

VALENTINES FOR LENT

By Lori Carmody 

It makes perfect sense to me that yesterday, the start of the Lenten season for Christians, was also St. Valentine’s Day.  What if both being on the same day wasn’t just happenstance?  What if our celebration of love on Ash Wednesday was pointing us in the direction of observing Lent with love being in the for front of our minds over the next 40 days (especially in light of the Florida High School shooting)?

As we know, God asks unusual things of His people.  He asked Noah to build an ark in the middle of the desert.  He asked a virgin to have a baby.  You get my point.   So, yesterday He may have asked us to hold love (valentines) together with Ash Wednesday (you are dust and to dust you shall return).  Unusual to say the least.  Or not?

In my mind, this translates:  Act in love towards all while holding in the back of your mind that life is short.

Let me share with you a prayer written by Joyce Rupp that I have adapted.

Faithful God, in these Lenten days we pray:

to live deeply, with purpose, 
to live freely, with detachment, 
to live wisely, with humility, 
to live justly, with compassion, 
to live lovingly, with awareness, 
to live gratefully, with generosity, 
to live fully, with enthusiasm.

Help me to hold this vision and to daily renew it in my heart, 
becoming ever more one with you.
Amen

From time to time we all forget we are meant to be Valentines to one another.  Yet life is short.  Perhaps we need to remember from Ash Wednesday that we are dust and to dust we shall return.  We were given a gift yesterday; a reminder that we are created to do both; love with a BIG VALENTINES LOVE and to remember that we won’t have forever to share our love with others.  God is counting on us to live the next 40 days with both in mind.

Thanks for reading.

Lori

#BIGLOVE  #LENT  #DAY11