LORELAI, RORY & LIFE

By Lori Carmody

We find inspiration in odd places, don’t we? 

When my daughter, Kaitie, was young, we used to watch the TV show Gilmore Girls.  Lorelai (mother) and Rory (daughter) were staples in our home through Rory’s middle, high and college years as they navigated their own relationship as well as those of extended family, friendships, careers, and life within a community.

I have been wearing my Gilmore Girls t-shirt a lot recently.  I needed to remember that I am strongest when I am standing on my own two feet.  Lorelai and Rory remind me of that. 

What reminds you of our own self-reliance?

Somehow wearing my Gilmore Girls t-shirt next to my heart helps me to remember that I find deep inner peace when I take my eyes OFF OF FEAR and place them on God and others, take hold of my own power, plant my feet firmly on the ground of the present moment, and choose the life I want to live.

When you have set a goal that requires you to be reminded of something, for example; trusting your own voice, taking responsibility for yourself, setting a boundary, forgiving (especially yourself), feeling good, asking for what you need or whatever; do something to remind yourself of the work in which you are engaged.  Tape a post it note with a message that you will see often as your reminder.  Find something that will symbolize for you what you are striving for and place it in your car or on your desk.  Hold it.  Receive its message.  Of course, you can always go to Target and buy a t-shirt.  That works too J  Do whatever will help you trust the growth your body, mind and spirit are nudging toward.  

Isn’t it lovely how Spirit can use anything – even a post it note or TV show and Target t-shirt – to speak to us?  Gilmore Girls???  Who would have thought!

Thanks for reading. 

Lori

Prayer:  God, help me to focus on You rather than on my fears.  In You, I become a channel of peace.

Action:  Allow the grace of letting something be “good enough” when the tendency arises to “refine”.

#gilmoregirls  #inspiration #selfresponsibility #chooselife #tshirts #presentmoment

IT’S THE COFFEE

By Lori Carmody

A group meets for coffee.  I carefully select my cup, trying to choose the cup that reflects my personality or mood of the day.  Then, wait for it, as we are visiting, I notice someone else’s cup that is even MORE me.  I think to myself that I wish I had chosen THAT cup.

Am I alone here?  Has that ever happened to you?

If it has, what does that signify in our lives?

I’m guessing that the professor in this short video is on to something.   We often want the best of jobs, paychecks, positions (at work, on the school board, at church, in the neighborhood, in our family) but getting these cause us so much stress and really do not bring happiness and peace to our professional and private lives.  Not only that, we strive for the same for our children, thus compounding the pressure at home.  Then we look around at others  – at their “cups” - and see how ours compare. Ugh!

What if, instead, we concentrate on the “coffee”?  Imagine a world where, instead of wanting the BEST for ourselves and our children, we simply want to enjoy coffee with one another. 

This video speaks to that part of me.  I hope it does to you too.  Enjoy! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lkp3zkioo

Thanks for your time,

Lori

Prayer:  This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.   Psalm 118:24

Action:  Next time you are at coffee with a group, simply take the cup closest to you and savor the moment.   Savor.  Savor.  Savor.  

#ItsTheCoffee  #Savor  #MyLife  #Day24

TAKING "VICTIM" OFF THE TABLE

By Lori Carmody

To follow up on my last ACCEPTANCE post, I want to mention a familiar happenstance around our home. 

When my kiddos were young and people were coming over for dinner, I would race around cleaning, cooking and preparing for the arrival of our guests.  At those times I would be thinking to myself, “Doesn’t anyone see that I am working like a crazy woman?”  Of course that was usually moments before I would explode in my “Commander in Charge” voice giving out orders for the tasks at hand before our guests would arrive and we all were expected to be in a good mood!  Oh my!  Those times definitely did not earn me awards for Mom of the Year.

Instead, I was allowing myself to be a VICTIM .....

“Can’t they see?” “Don’t they care?”

It took personal work for me to understand and then additional time to own that I was projecting on others what was really my own lack of taking responsibility for what I should have been doing for myself.  I was looking for others to show that they cared for me and expected them to have the intuition to know what I needed at any given time rather than for me to know and trust exactly what I needed for myself and the capability to accomplish it.   

For example, in this scenario,

·        Knowing we were entertaining over the weekend, I could have cleaned the house during the week thus lightening my load on the day of the dinner

·        I could have ASKED for help long before I got stressed

·        I could have taken a few tasks off my self-made to-do list (would the guests even notice or care?)

·        What if I would have changed the plan all together and had the guests for appys and beverages and then we all went out for dinner?  In those days, I wouldn’t have even given myself permission to not work and/or follow the plan I had put forth earlier in the week but how lovely if I had.  Today I certainly would rather do that than get upset and be angry with those around me

·        I could laugh.  I have noticed that when I can lighten up on myself, it moves me to a healthier place and so simply saying to myself “Yup, you’re here again, Lori J”  without criticalness creates space for me to not get in my own way

Eliminating my victimhood is such a good thing both for me and, truthfully, for those around me.   Just ask them.  They will tell you!

How about for you?

Is it a role you play in your family and/or friends?  At work?

If so, I recommend that next time you catch yourself thinking or saying, “Can’t THEY see?” you might ask yourself if YOU are having compassion for YOURSELF.  Once in that place of tender care for yourself, ask what you need.  It is not selfishness.  I promise.  Life will be better with being a victim off the table for you.  Plus the people around you will be grateful for the change they see in you.

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  Loving God, help us to love ourselves as well as we love others. 

Action:  Today, I will reign in my “victim” thoughts and choose to take responsibility for myself.

#VictimNoMore  #Self  #Compassion  #Day23

I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO ACCEPT

By Lori Carmody

Sometimes I mess up.

Sometimes others do.

Sometimes life gets messy and it is far from what we want it to be.

On those days/weeks/months we have options.  We don’t have to stay stuck.  Acceptance is one option that I find so very helpful.

ACCEPTANCE

Not that my accepting what is happening at any given time in my life will change everything in an instant.  Far from it.  Often it takes soul searching, active listening, conversations with the aim to understand rather than to convince, prayer, and working through emotions such as anger and sadness. 

However, if my target stays on ACCEPTING myself, others and the particular situation we are in just as it is for that present moment, miracles can and do occur. 

And guess what?  I have learned that once I get to acceptance ~ true ACCEPTANCE that even though things are messy I accept them EXACTLY as they are for today ~ I know GRATITUDE isn’t far behind.  Who knew?!!

Eckhart Telle puts it this way, “Accept – then act.  Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it…This will miraculously transform your whole life.”

Acceptance of the present moment is the rich soil that prepares us for what lies ahead.  As I find my solid footing in acceptance and gratitude, I then am better able to see the possibilities of where my best self can grow.  Although the path to acceptance may be arduous, getting there is well worth every ounce of energy it takes.   

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. 

Action:  What don’t you like about your life?  Every time you are tempted to complain, instead practice accepting it.  If you are brave, be grateful for it and see what happens!  

#Acceptance  #Permission  #Gratitude  #SerenityPrayer  #MyLife  #Day22

I’LL STAND BY YOU

By Lori Carmody

I attended two funerals in the past week.  Both men were wonderful, beloved, giants of men in our community.  

Those lucky enough to know Joe (age 31) and Jim (age 83) knew that they stood by their families and friends with the intention that no one in their circle would ever doubt that they were loved.  They both also reached beyond their close relationships to the bigger world and with their smiles, willingness to help others and joyful spirits made the world a better place for all of us.

Once in a while a song or slogan will capture for us the essence of what our hearts find difficult to put into words.  A commercial did that for me this week.

Although I don’t have a clue about Mass Mutual Insurance, and am not endorsing them here, I do believe that they have captured not only the gusto of how Joe and Jim lived their lives but also the call of how we are invited to make the world better by how we stand by one another.  

With life being so precious, can we do anything less?

https://www.massmutual.com/planning/videos/theunsung?cm_mmc=google-_-websitesupport_b-_-ppc-_-200010278-VQ16-c&gclid=CjwKCAiAlfnUBRBQEiwAWpPA6TZl2BbOEPruHw1vYTA4WWSay9dcrhvorc0z1bzjJijBM03yUg4u1xoCam8QAvD_BwE

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Prayer:  God of our births and deaths, we thank you for blessing our lives with Joe, Jim and all our family and friends who have gone before us.      

Action:  Look around!  Look again.  Who can you stand by, even in a small way today? 

#I’llStandByYou  #Friends  #Day21  

WE NEED OTHERS

By Lori Carmody

“In the beginning of life, 

when we are infant, 

we need others to survive, 

right?

And at the end of life, 

we need others to survive, 

right?

But here’s the secret;

In between we need others as well.”

~ Tuesdays with Morrie

Tom and I celebrated our 40^th wedding anniversary on Sunday.  One of the things we did was to visit our dear friends who had recently celebrated their 70^th wedding anniversary (Wow!).  Fran & “Auntie” Hilda lived two houses down from me when I was young.  They were good friends to our family and have been a part of the love and support Tom and I have felt all of our marriage. 

Morrie Schwartz had it about right.  In the beginning and end of our lives we need people but in between we do as well.  If we are lucky enough to realize that and be grateful for those who gift us with their time, laughter and perhaps a pizzelle cookie or two, we are lucky enough.

Thanks for reading.

Lori

Note: Tuesdays with Morrie: an old man, a young man, & life’s greatest lesson by Mitch Albom ~ a great read

Prayer:  Gracious God, your answer to any question I have had has always been to love more.   Help me to follow your guidance and to love more every day.

Action:  Who has been a personal support and inspiration to you over the years?  Wouldn't a note or call to thank them or simply saying a prayer of gratitude for them be a good thing?       

#PizzelleLove   #MarriageGoals  #MyTribe  #TuesdaysWithMorrie  #Gratitude #Day20

WELCOME HOME

By Lori Carmody

So often I find myself, without even realizing I am doing it, working overtime trying to be a faithful “servant” of God.  When I drill down a bit on my busyness, I realize my image of God is one from childhood where I must be a good little girl who works hard, always trying her best.  When I miss that mark, it will be noted.

As I have grown up my image of God has changed into a much more loving, forgiving, gentler God who simply wants to be in relationship with me.   

Last week Ruth Graham (Billy Graham’s daughter) spoke words that not only rang true for the God I have come to know as an adult but for the God the little girl in me still needs to be reminded of. 

https://ijr.com/2018/03/1072012-billy-graham-daughter-funeral/

Thanks for reading.

Lori

#WelcomeHome  #Forgiveness  #RuthGraham  #Day19